Dear friends of family: Please stop sending us crap
In addition to the diapers and the wipes and the baby paraphernalia that you really do need, the eco-unfriendliness of having a baby is even further exacerbated by the crap (you didn't register for or ask for) that people send you. Super G and I are so overwhelmed by the boxes and the crap that he's accelerated the conversion of the second room from the study to the nursery, even though Yo won't be sleeping in the for a while still (we opted for the co-sleeper). He just can't work in there anymore with all of the clutter (since we're just dumping all the stuff in that room and desperately trying to keep the rest of the apartment as tidy as possible).
The other day we received not one but TWO sets of personalized burp cloths. Gifts that don't even have the hope of being returned really irritate me. I guess I'm being "ungracious", but it seems to take a certain amount of arrogance to think that your taste is so impeccable that someone is going to love the gift you give them so much that they must keep it. My department sent me some really lovely flowers, but also a gift basket with bath time items that I can't return. (This one's not so bad, really. It's just that again, it can't be returned.)
This weekend is going to be an orgy of returning the stuff from Babies R Us that we can get rid of.
One other way in which this is upsetting my green side: Since I'm home all day, I've often got a fan or even the A/C on. We got our electric bill from last month, when I was still going into my office a lot, and even that was almost double the kilowatt hours that we consumed in June last year. I'm terrified to see what July's numbers will be.
In other Yo news, he's gone from being pretty angelic to really preferring to be connected to mommy in some way. Sometimes I can get him in the sling and keep him there happily, but sometimes he resists that. I wonder if he's going to need to be a pacifier baby. I was hoping not to introduce one (not for a really principled reason, though), but it may be what he needs. I guess we'll decide in a couple of weeks.
posted by Ianqui at 10:13 AM
11 Comments:
Uh, sorry for the diapers I just sent you. You said you were using disposables for now, so I hope they are useful!!
Also, I sent you some white short sleeve newborn shirts we never used (it was cold here when Lucas was born), so I hope they are useful to you! If not, I'll bet Goodwill would be happy to have them. (But sorry to put that task on you if you really can't use them!)
I should show you the ridiculously BIG and ugly set of singing (non-cuddly) bears someone gave us. I have no idea what to do with them, but displaying them in our TINY half-nursery half-office is not an option. Grrr.
As for the pacifier issue, I was strongly against it myself. But then a friend commented to me that she ended up using one because she finally decided that if her baby needed to suck to soothe himself, then it isn't wrong to give him a way to do that. (And honestly, you can only be a human pacifier for so long.) However, the real reason I finally went with a pacifier is because there were people staying with us (e.g., J's mom) who were helping us, but if they didn't have the means to soothe the baby then they couldn't be of much help. So now we still use a pacifier, but it's not like it's plugged in his mouth all the time. I'm hoping to gradually transition him away from it, but for now, it really has been helpful.
We do use it at night, usually when I know that Lucas is done nursing but wants to keep sucking. It makes for an easy transition from me (in the bed) to his co-sleeper. Then if I stay sleeping in bed (as opposed to getting up), I wait to hear the pacifier drop. That signals that he is really completely asleep, so I reach over and move it away from his head. Sometimes he wakes up about six hours later, but really could sleep for a full eight hours, so I stick the pacifier in his mouth and he can literally go from eyes open and arms and legs flailing to fast asleep in about three seconds. It's really funny and I should videotape it sometime. So for the extra sleep alone, I don't mind using the pacifier. :)
I started out saying I was going to resist pacifiers too, and really our kids never used them because they never liked them and much preferred their thumbs. However, both of my kids had (and have) very strong tactile and oral desires and in the long-run it seemed like it would accomplish nothing other than creating tension to try to take a hard-line position against what they wanted. If Yo wants to suck, pretty soon he'll find things to suck on whether you let him have a pacifier now or not, so why bother fighting about it?
That picture is, of course, adorable. He looks like he's just kicked back and relaxing.
Ianqui, I would be happy to take your stuff and pay for shipping too. Nobody in my family is really into my pregnancy, so except for some handmedowns and a pair of booties that my mom bought (because she refused to knit them), I haven't received anything. (Couple a non-warm-and-fuzzy family with hard financial times and a grandfather with a cancer newly diagnosed and this is what you get.) And my boyfriend and I are in one of the other crazily overpriced cities in our nation -- and he's out of work. So even I have bought only a single onesie, because that's all I've been able to afford. (We did, however, manage to get a changing table and a bunch of things from a generous woman at a garage sale who took pity on us.) All this to say, I'd be glad to take your extras off your hands and would hereby promise to distribute the goodies to other people in need when Absurdist Baby grows out of them or no longer needs them.
If this sounds doable to you, email me at earnestenglish@gmail.com.
Super-cute picture today -- Yo looks like he's kicking back!
He looks pretty angelic to me. But yeah, they do catch on pretty quick that mom's their lifeline and they don't let go easily.
What an adorable picture--he looks so relaxed and peaceful.
Ugh, the personalized burp cloths reminds me of how when I was little, I would sometimes get personalized things WITH MY NAME SPELLED WRONG. We couldn't return them, and there wasn't much use to keeping something that said Kaitlan or Kaitlen or Katelyn on it when my name is Kaitlin.
Can they double as dishrags or dustrags? Or do you have enough of those already?
Congratulations Ianqui -- so glad everyone is home well & safe. Your son is gorgeous.
I myself love the first six months (nephews only mind you -- not full time) because of the non-stop cuddling *and* you can read at the same time.
Have fun with him -- forget about the electric bill. College will be worse.
abrazos,
TR
And how could I not mention that this photo of Yo is adorable! It looks like he's just kicking back, as earnest said. :)
Yeah, the strong mommy preference. Ah, the scent of milk in the morning/afternoon/evening/night.
It's nice to have *something* (or someone) who can give comfort other than you--in case you need to shower or eat or something equally frivolous.
Our kids never took to a pacifier, but AM became a thumbsucker (only when he is tired or in the middle of the night, thankfully). It can be incredibly useful to have an alternative to oral needs other than you!
We thankfully only got once personalized gift apiece (from the same friend) and one of them I LOVE (a towel/washcloth set from Lands End). The burp cloths drive me nuts though--because who wants to use nicely embroided things to clean up spitup and poop?!
So adorable!
have you considered donating some of the items to a local homeless shelter and/or program that caters to pregnant women who are down on their luck? or how about giving some of the stuff away to women who are preggers and down on their luck?
just a thought
tnt
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